Sunday, November 20, 2016

Trump Meets Captain Kirk


Captain Kirk: Scotty, man the transporter.
Scotty: Aye captain.
Kirk: Okay, how many fingers am I holding up?
Scotty: %#&$ you too, captain!
Kirk: LOL! Just checking to see if you were sober. Beam us down to ahhh, where? Oh, a place called Trump Towers.
(Crew appears in The Donald’s office.)
Kirk: Bones… Scotty… Spock!
Spock: OMG WHAT! Damn, why do you have to yell like that?
Kirk: For theatrical effect. Anyway, is that the leader of planet Earth?
Bones: No Jim, but he thinks he is.
(Trump spins around in his chair and faces the crew.)
Kirk: Good God! Bones, help him, there’s a Tribble on the top of his head! And, his lips are swollen and puckered, I think he’s choking to death!
Spock: No captain, I Googled his pic before we left. This is how he looks.
Kirk: Really? On purpose?
Trump: I can hear you Captain Klutz. Now, how much did your ship cost?
Kirk: Oh, well, back in 2050 it was 5 or 6 billion, I believe.
(Trump jumps up and leans forward) I’ll pay double for that sweet ride!
Kirk: OMG! His head, it looks like there’s a Muppet on his head! A Muppet that was washed and spun dry! I think it tried to attack me! Phasers on stun… fire!
Trump: (Dazed and smoldering) WTF was that all about? Trigger happy SOB’s! YOU’RE FIRED!
Spock: Live short and asphyxiate @$$#0l%....
Trump: CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED!
Okay, that’s enough…





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